The Daily Grind Network - Software Products

Kimdom Come

Sometimes it's difficult to understand exactly what's happening on the Korean peninsula. Could North Korean leader Kim Jong Il attach nuclear payloads to his Taepo-Dong missiles? Will South Korean president Roh Moo Hyun's "sunshine" policy of engagement bring peace? Will North Korea release the hostages it took from Japan in the 1970s? What is with Kim's haircut? Only time, and this game, will tell. As Dear Leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, you control its fearsome Army, Navy, Airforce and Strategic Rocket Forces; although not it seems a decent hairdresser. Use your Flying Dong 2 missiles to fend off detente with the puppets of the south. With Roh & his "sunshine" policy out of the way, you won't have to suffer his donations of food and oil ever again! Blasting aid, waving at parades, eliminating traitors, destroying your own cities... it's fun! fun! fun! north of the DMZ. Aside from the busy task of protecting cities from menacing gifts of energy and nourishment from your Imperialist enemies, the Dear Leader is faced with difficult policy choices. Should you wait until your last city defects, or nuke it first? Or are your objectives better met by just blowing up the sun? Although the action will become fast and furious, victory is surely within the grasp of a Dear Leader whose official biography notes that his birth was marked by a new star, and who composed six operas, designed the Juche Tower, and invented the tractor.

Keywords: missile command humor joke satire game korea mac os x smart cards

Detox

Run the medical, mental health, law-enforcement and social services... into the ground. Score interdepartmental brownie points by bouncing addicts between services until the system collapses and you get to present the taxpayer with the bill! Control them all and go against The System, or play against the computer and try to make its services overload and fail! Refer patients with the classic addiction/psychiatric dual diagnosis to and fro between your physician and psychiatrist while secretly hoping the law-enforcement agencies solve your dilemma by arresting them, or the computer's social services fail them and they just disappear! Or, for the ultimate challenge, play a Deathmatch game and be the last department standing. Rise to the prestigious office of Director of Public Prosecutions, Medicutions, Socicutions or Psychecutions! Features: * Addictive gameplay * Three exciting modes of play: vs Computer, vs The System and Deathmatch * Configurable service size, computer acuity, patient presentation and the lauded "Tough on crime" option * Extensive post-game analysis in the form of an itemised bill to the taxpayer * See how your score compares with the pros on the Market Leaders list * Simulation accuracy extents to the 50+ sound effects * Chill/freak out to original background music * Dynamically resizable arena

Keywords: game satire humor joke arcade bitter politics mac os x policy traffic regulation

HeckleWorks Pro

HeckleWorks is a robotic heckle, jibe, insult and realtime personality evaluation generator. It can be used for filling evaluation forms, intermittent analysis while you work, or general heckling. HeckleWorks features a broad vocabulary and some grammatical variations, for de novo jibe generation. Alternatively, you can specify the targets, for the abuse they so richly deserve. The "Yell Continuously" function generates a constant stream of heckles, and speaks them with a variety of voices. A highly configurable timer allows the user to set up intermittent heckling, lying latent in the background. Sample heckles: * An illegal giant novelty timebomb could bring back the Mao suit with less collateral damage than you! * You 'redistribute' land to your cronies like a trans-urethral leperous distillment! * You join the EU like a wan manga character! * Your Terrapin is a post-Impressionist Wikipedia, so go sack the elected government with less collateral damage like the torrid multiparty democracy you are.

Keywords: heckle humour humor joke abuse jibe harsh comprehensive solution

Final Excuse Pro

The premier excuse generation system for people bereft of credibility and imagination, Final Excuse Pro can make excuses for transgressions ranging from late assignments and social gaffs to war crimes. Specify your own scapegoat, or rely on the pre-installed library encompassing pets, subordinates, relatives, highly-paid advisors, the Global Monkey Conspiracy and more. A new era has dawned. An era in which perfectly plausable and believable excuses are a mouseclick away, for even the most defective user. Sample excuses: - You can't blame me for my tardiness... the free muffin you get with every tenth methadone-assisted detox at Ronald McDone House elegantly fanned the flames engulfing my necrotic steam engine! - But my Dalmation fire-dog led me to believe that I could rely on your bumbling minions to fail to recognise that unfortunate insignificant error on my part leading to the destruction of your valued possession or family member!

Keywords: entertainment excuse tool optimization problems

Simbabwe

Welcome to Simbabwe, where the property is already owned and the houses built and you compete to burn and dispossess them. Bounce around the map plundering farms, denying grain silos to opposition supporters and robbing the community chest. Easy to play but hard to escape from, Simbabwe is a richly detailed, evolved board game with unscrupulous AI and editorial cartoon graphics. Start off as some guy in the Zimbabwean African National Union Patriotic Front and end up changing the constitution 17 times and pledging to rule until you're 100. Rig elections, gaol opponents and taunt the Commonwealth as you use intimidation and stooges to create a mugaboly on power. Compete with Robert Mugabe, Canaan Banana, Cecil Rhodes and Sir Godfrey Huggins to earn a place on the all-time EU travel ban list!

Keywords: game satire humor humour politics political zimbabwe africa dictator despot dialog boxes